Well.....you haven't heard from me in a while. It has been a bumpy few weeks. Things fell apart for me for a little while with the passing of Meredith, our PHAT CHICK trainer. An awful tragedy. She was so incredibly beautiful, so incredibly alive. Even though I didn't know Meredith for a long time, her death really messed me up. I was angry and sad and confused. I didn't think I wanted to go on with this, I didn't think I deserved it. With many conversations with friends and family I realized I couldn't stop now. I had to push on, I had to dig deep and find the passion again. Over the past three weeks I have done a few workouts and had a few runs and every time I think of Meredith and it helps me. I feel her when the wind blows on my face, when the sun shines down and when the raindrops hit my skin. I feel her and I smile. I have gained strength from this tragedy. I now want to spend more time outside, I want to challenge myself and I want to be more like she was.
Sunday was our first workout with Suzie. I missed it. The Mississauga marathon had me stuck in traffic and I didn't get to Kerns Park until the end. I cried in the car as I really really really wanted to be there. When I did finally arrive , I immediately felt better. I got some sweaty hugs from the girls and that made me feel good again. I thank you all for that. You ladies rock and I am so glad that I am apart of this circle.
When I got home I did my own run. Of course I only wanted to run for 30-40 minutes but I ran 60 minutes. It was a slower pace than usual. I felt so incredible. This evening I did my homework and I must say I struggled. It is harder to do it alone than in the group. I did break a sweat about 5 minutes into it. I always want to cut it short but I always remember that I am only cheating myself. It feels so good when it is over. I swear my little muscles are getting bigger!!!! My stomach feels stronger as well. I feel stronger.
This Thursday will be our first biking class. I am scared but I cannot wait. I am really looking forward to it.
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We missed you during the trail run on Sunday but it was great to see you at the end!! I am glad you are continuing on with our adventure, it wouldn't be the same without you.
ReplyDeleteI went for a ride tonight and thought about Meredith.
Have fun on Thursday, I will be thinking about you.
The best compliment you can give anyone is wanting to be like them and working towards that goal. Meredith set a pretty high bar for all of us. She had that infectious smile, positive energy and loved every minute of every day. I didn't know her until we all joined together in this group, but she sure has given us so much in such a short time. We will never forget her! As Susie says, keep on going as that is what Mer would want. Keep up the great work...an hour's run, HOLY COW girl. That's AMAZING!
ReplyDeleteYOU my dear are the BEST!!!
ReplyDeleteSo glad that you are keeping up with the homework and that we got a chance to see you on Sunday :-)
Keep Smiling
XO